Family Counselling

Understanding the Importance of Relationships

Often too little attention is paid to emotional needs, both our own, and others. Most of us try very hard to please, but usually we are adopting/copying the relationship habits of parents/ siblings/teachers/peers. This can lead to us trying to please others whilst not pleasing ourselves.

Identifying and Expressing Personal and Mutual Needs

So – the first step now you are an adult, is to pause and consider “what do I need?” This doesn’t mean you will be able to have your own way, but it does mean you can acknowledge and express your needs. Equally this means you will ensure you acknowledge, understand and listen to others' needs.

Navigating Differences and Building Tolerance in Relationships

The second step is once you have heard and understood the needs of those close to you, and feel this has been reciprocated, you can then work together, resulting in a more harmonious life, thus moving to the third step. When we begin a relationship with a partner it is important to consider the similarities and differences in our upbringing. Although there may be similarities, no two families operate in the exact same way. Some people struggle with differences, even minute ones, becoming critical, even controlling about the other’s behaviour/habits, which will eat away at any relationship. 

The most important factor in any family is the ability to compromise, to work together, to be united. In order to achieve this we need to be open and honest to work through any differences compassionately ensuring satisfactory outcomes, rather than fighting one another. Children thrive in a family where everyone has a voice and feels heard. It’s okay for children to know parents may disagree, but to know their parents will find a way to resolve difficulties in a loving way. This gives children confidence, so they don’t feel threatened by disagreement, but will find a way to connect, to resolve and move forward, which ensures they will grow to be confident and happy adults.

So you can see that tolerance and understanding are vital for a relationship to flourish.